In My Feelings

After seeing so many posts about the #InMyFeelingsChallenge, I finally watched the video.  Clearly, Drake is going through something.  But aren’t we all?  When I’m in my feelings, my thoughts go haywire and if I did everything that came to mind at the time,  I’d likely end up prison.  These past few months I have been working on being very intentional about not staying in my feelings when I get in them.  Here’s how:

  1. Don’t react right away. This used to be a BIG problem for me.  Something would happen and the minute I felt offended in any kind of way, I was popping off that the mouth and trying to run people over.  As much as I’d love to think of myself as a highly rational being, I’m sometimes not.  Knowing this about myself, I work extremely hard to not react right away.
  2. Prayer is my saving grace in my darkest moments. I take a moment to ask God for His divine intervention in revealing to me what is truth versus perception and what I must do.
  3. Mindful breathing. I learned this from my friend, Lilith.  Mindful breathing relaxes my body.  I start by taking a deep inhale through my nostrils, holding my breath for a few seconds, and then taking a long exhale through my mouth.  These deep and intentional breaths decrease my heart rate, relax my tensed muscles, and refocus my concentration.
  4. Apply 5Ws. I use the 5Ws (Who? What? When? Where? Why?) to write down what ACTUALLY happened.  Facts only.  Not my perception or feelings about what happened.
  5. Assess feelings. TRUTH BOMB: Our emotions don’t always represent the truth!  Just because I feel a certain way, doesn’t make it a reality. Once I have written down the facts, I can then start to assess why I am in my feelings.  Am I hurt because it’s true?  Did I receive the situation in the wrong way?  Do I have PMS?  Am I hungry?  Was I already upset about something else?  Will this situation even matter a week, month or year from now?
  6. See the bigger picture. I remind myself that every step is an ordered step and everything that has ever happened in my life, whether good or bad, has served a higher purpose. I try to see past the moment and distinguish the greater meaning, trusting that even in the midst of being in my feelings, there is purpose.
  7. Journal. Journal. Words are powerful and when I am in my feelings, I have trained myself to use my words to describe, improve, and transform my situation.  I write until my hand hurts in order to physically liberate myself from my pent up emotions.
  8. Thought exchange. I replace negative thoughts with more positive ones.  The thing about choosing to stay in your feelings is that you’re also choosing to bind yourself to negative thoughts which will eventually lead you to a cycle of negative life patterns.  The constantly bitter people in your life are probably allowing themselves to remain in their feelings so long that negativity becomes their new normal. Think on good things!
  9. Ask for Support. Sometimes we need someone to listen to us, pray with us, or guide us into a more positive place.  FYI:  The negative Nellies in your life are not the ones to go to!  Avoid toxic people!
  10. Help someone.  I find that when I am taking care of someone else’s problems, God takes care of mine!  You don’t have time to stay in your feelings when you’re out in the world changing it for the better!


What do you do when you’re in your feelings?

7 thoughts on “In My Feelings

  1. When I’m in my feelings….oh boy!! I get easily defensive and offended. I tend to wear my feelings on my sleeves, taking everything to heart. Thinking people deliberately trying to hurt you. I tend to either go from one extreme to the next. Either, I’m holding things in or venting too much on social media. Everything except talking directly to person I need to. Another thing I do is close up in my room and stay away from people or if I’m around people, I just get real quiet. I think I’ve gotten a lot better , but not quite. #SillNeedWork

  2. I think we’ve all grown from a place of popping off at the mouth lol. I know I have! Now, when I get in my feelings, first I pray and ask The Lord what just happen and what is it HE wants me to learn from this. I then, take time to remove myself from the situation and apply those 5W’s you mentioned. I also reach out to my close circle to get wise counsel. Poetry and writing songs helps me because God speaks to me through my gifts. At times I have to go back and listen to my music to get ministered to all over again. I don’t always receive the answers I feel I need at the moment. However, spending time in prayer and in HIS WORD helps bring peace and serenity to my spirit and in due time (God’s Perfect Orchestrated Timing) HE reveals the answers to me! It’s those times that I receive revelation from The Lord, that make all the struggle and pain worth while.

  3. It’s funny that when I read msdonna2008’s comment I felt like we share some of the same traits, except the social media venting 😊. When I’m in my feelings I can get offended and defensive. I also tend to shutdown and isolate myself for a bit. I need the alone time to collect my thoughts, recharge and regroup. I would like to think that I’ve gotten better as I’ve aged but sometimes I still react prematurely without thinking. I have learned that it’s a good idea to take a step back and look at the situation with different eyes. Be calm…because some people want a reaction out of you…don’t give them the satisfaction of seeing you in your feelings. I’ve also learned to channel that energy into doing something productive, like cleaning your house, reading or my favorite, working outs.

  4. So when I get in my feelings, I don’t know, I be wanting to lose it. Like I be wanting to release all the F-bomb that’s left in my basket, but I know that would be the right thing to do. With that being said, there are a few things I do when I get in my feelings

    1. reflect- I reflect on all of the things that I have been through in my past that brought me to the place I am today and remind myself of my growth.

    2.Breathing exercises- usually when you do breathing exercises a lot of people say that, that does not work for everyone and what I simply say is that ” maybe just maybe you’re not doing it right” , I literally inhale all positive things, such as the things that makes me happy, the things that I love, the people that brings me warmth and comfort, and I exhale everything that made me reflect back on the negative- everything from negative comments to insulting words… I just exhale all of that energy

    3. Nature- I go to either a park or anywhere that there is water and breathe God’s fresh air as I proceeded to write whatever comes to mind

    that is some of the many things that I do when I get in my feelings as well as talk to the people that I trust the most. That will not make you want to go slash someone tires(lol). But honestly I’m pretty much a very peaceful and jolly person and I like to stay that way so me doing the three things I do when I get in my feelings allows me to stay positive peaceful and jolly. it allows me to realize not everyone wants to see me hurt, also it lets me know that everyone makes mistakes

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